A lot of people equate letting go with forgetting.
We mourn the loss of a person,
a particular time in our lives,
or a relationship that has ended,
and we resist moving away from the grieving process
because it feels
like a betrayal to what was lost to let it go.
This isn’t what letting go means.
Letting go is about acknowledging and accepting the actual reality
in the present moment.
The present moment necessarily includes the past,
all we’ve learned, loved, and lost.
Our experiences change us,
for better or for worse,
letting go means doing the best we can
with what’s actually happening,
whether it’s what we wanted
Holding on to the past is painful
because it hurts to wake up every day
in a reality we didn’t want.
Wishing we could have something back again
or be the person we were before the loss
is painful not only because it’s impossible,
but because it prevents us from seeing what is real:
the reality we are in
and the person we are today,
for better or for worse.
Honestly showing up to the truth of the present moment
is a necessary step
to getting anywhere new.
Grief works on its own schedule.
Sometimes moving on
starts with staying sad for a while.
When I lose someone or something that I loved,
I try acknowledging what I gained
from what I lost.
I ask myself:
What did I learn?
How am I different
from having had the experience?
What will I keep with me forever?
How can I acknowledge the truth of the present moment,
including my grief and my hope?