Saturday, April 22, 2017

Unknowing

I no longer try to find answers
to the questions of life,
but only to stay with the reality of not knowing.

I strive to stay within the mystery.

Maybe one reason my mind continually asks questions
is that this questioning brings into awareness
my act of trying to separate myself.

I had assumed I was here,
and the mysterious universe was out there.
I went through life
assuming I was a separate being.

Self-inquiry challenged my assumption of separation.

The questioning gave me clues
to my attachments,
how I wanted things to be,
how I wanted things to be other than they were,
and how I suffered as a result.

When I deeply asked,
What or who am I?
I allowed myself to become one with unknowing.

I found that
at the end of unknowing
lies great awakening.
When I can doubt fully,
I will awaken fully.

Gradually it became clear
that there is no way to do away with doubt.
Doubt is an expression of what I am.

It became clear to me
that to ask deeply the question
Who am I?
was to allow myself to become doubt itself.

So it has been imperative for me 
to doubt the truth of my concepts about God, 
and at the same time to be aware that I was doubting. 


In the midst of my unknowing,
 I found that
reality could not be grasped 
by making it into an object of thought. 
But I had to try. 

Indeed, my desire for truth was deepened by trying. 
It was deepened by my wanting to know. 

But my true role
is not to know what reality is. 

Here and now 
is the source. 
I open my arms. 
I drink in the moment. 

Here and now
 is one hundred percent identical 
with every possible manifestation in the whole universe.

 When I doubt this idea deeply, 
I awaken deeply
into Unknowing.






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