Sunday, July 2, 2017

Now, only Now

There is more to consciousness
than what is produced in my little head.

I have the capacity,
as do we all,
to get beyond whatever my small consciousness is doing
and telling me.

When I am able,
when I am sufficiently still and relaxed
letting it happen, not doing it,
I can receive a resonance
from a greater consciousness.

Fear is constricting.
In fact, so are all my self-concerns for my reputation,
for my ideas,
even for what the next association is telling me.

I strive to be open to something that could be quite new,
that is not really coming so much from me
as from the Source consciousness
that manages to see what things are,
what I am,
not getting caught up in the next reaction or judgment or association
because all of these are functions;
and consciousness is not a function.

Without being in love,
I can’t reach it,
and it can’t reach me
while I’m preoccupied with all that is going on
in my ordinary thought,
my ordinary bodily habits, sensations, movements,
and my ordinary emotional reactions.
These are functions.

It’s as if I have two natures:
a functional nature
and what many people call a spiritual nature or a soul.

I needed a less self-centered attitude to wake up,
a change of consciousness,
a change of mind
from a mind that just dwelled in its next automatic association,
assuming it can control my entire life that way,
to a mind that is still and open
and able to receive something from the Greater Mind.

I search for who I am,
and by now I know that I am not going to find an answer
in my functional machinery,
ticking away automatically,
but in my essential mind,
simply being aware,

It is so important
to understand my awareness
as a connector to something greater than me,
to my Source, really.

The precious present is the doorway to that,
even at the moment that I acknowledge
that I don’t know who I am.

That is the beginning of a real wish for it,
a wish simply to be.

And when I have that wish,
then something can reach me
that is of an absolutely different quality.

I perceive it as an axis of light
running down through my physical body,
but of a different origin.

My physical body comes from this earth,
and the other, my essence,
comes from the stars,
from the sun,
from higher up,
the Source.

Each center has its own possibilities,
ranging from its ordinary, automatic way of functioning
to a more conscious way of being.

When my mind becomes aware,
there is clarity.
When my body becomes aware,
there is a sensation of life.

And when my essence is aware,
there is the presence of love.

These experiences come and go
And when they go,
I can at least stay in unknowing,
without trying to change anything or do anything.

All the great traditions
confirm that we can do all three at the same time,
in the same life.

But now, only now.

An inability to be here now
is a blockage.
And what blocks me is my thinking about how to do it,
and being identified with the thought of doing it.

So, I let go, 
I sense and listen, 
so that something can act on me
as I am present to receive it.

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